Note: We’re kicking off the year with a lot more articles! Stay in touch.

You know it’s going to be an interesting day when Chris McCann’s “Startup Digest” newsletter reads “Beware: this is another Larry Chiang event.”

Larry Chiang is this eccentric guy who has a blog, http://whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.com with over 300 articles (somewhere) about startup founder networking. He has a company which helps students keep good credit scores, tweets a lot of tips (and self-inside jokes)…and crashes VC events while carrying a Shih-tzu in a man-purse (chicks love it?).

So he’s my kind of weirdo.

I promised him I’d write an article on my adventures. Hopefully he’ll get a kick out of this.

I’m pretty new to this ‘startup networking’. I spent a few years in politics as a campaign manager, and there’s quite a lot of skill overlap there. But in the startup world, you must network to survive. So I’m always sharpening my tools. I’m not one of those people who can ‘talk to anyone’, but if they like music and/or distributed databases, I’m good to go.

For some reason (I laugh at his jokes?), Larry follows me on Twitter. I’ve also got his #. So when I saw Chris’s e-mail, I shot him a dm, txt,  and an e-mail. I got a lengthy, oddly-formatted, caps-full reply a few minutes later.

“CALL ME between 8:08 and 11:11pm! Answer these questions! [survey]”

A few hours later, on the phone, he mentions that we’re “Crashing a VC cocktail party” and “Dress nice, be sure to text me when you’re 10 minutes away and 5 minutes away so I can escort you in properly”. Implied was “so we don’t get caught”.

Yes. Now *this* is my kind of party.  The next day, I got an e-mail cryptically stating that we somehow got on an invite list? Larry magic, I suppose. Although I was looking forward to the thrill of dodging security (I really like Metal Gear Solid).

The drive down to the event reminded me of Seattle. I had 1 ½ hours to make it from OATV in San Francisco to The Ritz at Half Moon Bay. I have to admit it’s a pleasant drive…made all the more pleasant by blasting some KMFDM.

This is what the Ritz at Half Moon Bay looks like. A perfect venue for folks with too much disposable income, trying to earn more disposable income:

I headed into the Temple of Capitalism and sat on a remarkably plush couch. I saw an acquaintance, @lolya, walk by. She’s a no-nonsense Russian with a commanding accent and a walk which dares people to stop her. I figure if I crash anything, she’ll be good backup.

We approach the reg desk and are flagged by some VC Admins (you know the type: models with minor math skills).

“Hey there, what’s your name?”

Olya goes first … they check her name off the list. “Great, go on in!” She walks away. (Thanks Olya!)

Next, me: “Oh hai, I’m Bradford. Erm… I was just signed up today. I might not be on the list.”  “Oh, let me check…hrm, I don’t see you.” “What about there?” I vaguely motion at a pile of papers.

“I’m sure you’re here somewhere, Mr. Stephens…let me keep looking.”

“Awwww, c’mon, nobody would drive out to Half Moon Bay in a suit during a rainstorm just to crash a party.”

“I guess you’re right…I think I remember now. Your name is on the list. You’re with Larry. Go on in.”

I get a legit badge and everything. So much for my Stealth Skills.

I head in and grab Larry: “Hey there!”

He replies, “Hi Bradford! Now go talk to people.”

That’s it? No brilliant insights or revelations? Damnit. Well, I handled it well anyway. The rest of the night was smooth.

But being thrown into the inferno tends to set your focus for an evening. As I reflected on my activities that night, I came up with a list of what to do (and what not to do).

Here’s 5 tips I’ve learned in my brief existence and realized that night:

-1: One friend is usually better than 50 connections. (no text)

0. Understand the party (this is almost a separate blog post)

This is going to be a new blog post, but I’ve usually noticed a party is a great use of time if:

1. People you want to meet are there (duh).
2. A Top-10 VC firm is a sponsor.
3. Y-Combinator companies will be there.
4. O’Reilly/GigaOm folks are there.
5. Smart girls will be there

You can break these rules — in the most unexpected places you can sometimes find gems. Our top advisor, Rich Miller, was introduced to us at a “Women in Tech” event.

1. THANK THE HOST

Apparently, at one point in the event, Larry was hitting me for my attention (I was occupied). He later told me that he had the host of the event,and he wanted to introduce us. Damnit! I felt like a jerk, but made it up to the organizer afterward.

It’s always a killer idea to intro yourself to the organizer/host and thank them. As someone who runs events, I’ve noticed:

1. Hardly anyone actually bothers to thank the organizes, so you’ll have their time.
2. It’ll make you remembered.
3. They’re in a ‘state of heightened awareness’ so you’re more likely to get intros, off-the-cuff insights, or just something amusing.

2. Be a vacation

I’ve been on coffee dates with somewhat well-known VCs and some neckbeard will stumble up to us and say “Hey there, are you {blah}” and then proceed to blab about their “Foursquare for Pets” or whatever. Eye-rolling then ensues.

If you get the attention of someone interesting, try to be interesting back. I’m not the best at this, because I have deep and narrow interests (Guitars, Booze, Cars, Politics, Metal, and Distributed Databases). But think about it: do you want to hear 20 people talk about Hadoop, or one person talk about how “Dot Com”, an album by your favorite band, Jethro Tull, is highly underrated?

3. Take notes and follow up quickly

I’m also bad at this, but when I’ve done it, it works fantastic. If you get a card, write down a few keywords on what your new friend likes, kids’ names, favorite beer, etc. You probably won’t remember it, but the act alone makes things a lot stickier. Review it when you get home, follow them on Twitter. If you know you’ll meet them in person again, dig up that card (or Excel spreadsheet).

I wish there were an app to automate my “knowing stuff about people”. Not CRM.

4. Look for the lonely ones (you’ll form a pack eventually)

Sometimes, the Second Most Important Person in the Room is standing alone, munching or drinking. It’s a great time to walk up and say “I don’t know anybody here, but you seem cool.” (I’m the master of the banal.)

Eventually, two things will happen:

1. You’ll wrap up the deep convo in a few minutes and go on your merry way.
2. Their group of friends will re-join, and you’ll suddenly be “in”. Cool!

5. Be snazzy (it helps).

This is me. Most of the time, I wear 10 year old Iron Maiden tee shirts. But when I meet people, I have to *try* to be memorable. so I dress snazzy:

This is Paul Graham. He does not have to dress snazzy because he has lots of money:

You are most likely not Paul Graham. Look decent for everyone. If you’re talking to a bunch of geeks, a pressed/button-down shirt and nice jeans (I recommend Self Edge) is great. If you’re at a conference, wear a decent shirt and jacket. The investment in something bespoke is worth it — I spend my money at Like A Rock Star

5.9 Introduce folks to the fairer sex.

This is probably gonna get me shot or dropped from a conference, but if Dave McClure’s still alive…

Every notice how the Smart Girls are always getting pounced on by the Sleazy Guys With Power at parties? Clever girls are a rarity in The Valley. People have done scandalous things for the sake of the opposite sex.

If you walk up to someone you want to meet with a pleasant, charming +1, you’ll quickly be remembered later, even if you don’t get the chance to engage at the moment. Bring some new entrepreneur females to parties and help them make new friends. You’re helping the community.

Likewise, if you rescue a cute +1 from a lecherous codger,  you’ll have a new friend the rest of the night.

But don’t try to date her :)